Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
