Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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