I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
pray to the hookup gods
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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