well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
