Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
