my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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