if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
