We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
being pregnant is like rehab
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize