It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
