I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
