i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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