i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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