the new term for farting is butt boxing.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
