Me too!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize