he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
