Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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