So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And then he peed in my hair
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