After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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