i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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