I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
