hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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