Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
