im having a threesome with these popsicles
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Operation Purity has been aborted
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
