bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
