I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Actions speak louder than pants.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
