It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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