You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
