i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
