I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize