I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
