hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
