it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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