I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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