Sry I called you an 8
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
