really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
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i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
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Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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