Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
