i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
