Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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