Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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