drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
