dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
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