I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
