thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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