Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
