I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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