I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
