I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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