I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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