omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
