My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
