No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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