I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
