Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
