Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
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I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
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He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
How naked do you want me to be?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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