considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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