guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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