you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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