The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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