i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
