The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
