I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize