Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
