You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
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Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
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it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?