you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.