Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.

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  (517): dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it. http://tfl.nu/4nb9
  Replies (19) Good night (1693) Bad night (4229)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.

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  (917): its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny. http://tfl.nu/2ipn
  Replies (10) Good night (818) Bad night (4223)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.

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  (716): i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby. http://tfl.nu/gnwv
  Replies (35) Good night (4193) Bad night (1158)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring

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  (816): we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring http://tfl.nu/1aqf
  Replies (24) Good night (7019) Bad night (1531)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.

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  (218): I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care. http://tfl.nu/yew2
  Replies (12) Good night (1040) Bad night (4755)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".

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  (847): just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain". http://tfl.nu/ukpa
  Replies (26) Good night (14491) Bad night (1182)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even

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  (717): She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even http://tfl.nu/tali
  Replies (14) Good night (3197) Bad night (1334)
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  (845): View more from New York

  you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage

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  (845): you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage http://tfl.nu/ot1n
  Replies (4) Good night (4146) Bad night (801)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick

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  (204): she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick http://tfl.nu/7rr6
  Replies (5) Good night (947) Bad night (2111)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog

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  (312): Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog http://tfl.nu/dk0r
  Replies (23) Good night (4911) Bad night (767)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again

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  (720): I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again http://tfl.nu/uboi
  Replies (5) Good night (1169) Bad night (894)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Tornado booty call.. dedication

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  (469): Tornado booty call.. dedication http://tfl.nu/xoaj
  Replies (6) Good night (955) Bad night (604)
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  (925): View more from California

  I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.

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  (925): I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m. http://tfl.nu/avly
  Replies (1) Good night (910) Bad night (309)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport

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  (515): So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport http://tfl.nu/uoc3
  Replies (9) Good night (604) Bad night (299)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made

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  (859): Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made http://tfl.nu/odg4
  Replies (5) Good night (882) Bad night (217)

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