Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever. http://tfl.nu/jepg
  Replies (8) Good night (3160) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick http://tfl.nu/awtp
  Replies (16) Good night (2978) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day. http://tfl.nu/7t04
  Replies (37) Good night (6074) Bad night (1728)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills http://tfl.nu/tv9l
  Replies (6) Good night (4221) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it http://tfl.nu/pd6c
  Replies (11) Good night (2242) Bad night (3136)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team. http://tfl.nu/1zge
  Replies (7) Good night (3224) Bad night (1279)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know. http://tfl.nu/jvfd
  Replies (6) Good night (1322) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips.... http://tfl.nu/9ril
  Replies (3) Good night (1272) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks. http://tfl.nu/88uh
  Replies (20) Good night (2028) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway http://tfl.nu/917j
  Replies (16) Good night (1277) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate. http://tfl.nu/dyap
  Replies (1) Good night (813) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores http://tfl.nu/za4f
  Replies (3) Good night (1001) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again. http://tfl.nu/nki8
  Replies (5) Good night (703) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this http://tfl.nu/dy6c
  Replies (4) Good night (387) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out http://tfl.nu/sd3d
  Replies (0) Good night (450) Bad night (284)

Randomize