Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.