Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.

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  (716): All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world. http://tfl.nu/xqix
  Replies (10) Good night (1010) Bad night (2104)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.

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  (413): then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man. http://tfl.nu/6mq0
  Replies (39) Good night (1128) Bad night (11336)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.

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  (773): Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices. http://tfl.nu/v05l
  Replies (8) Good night (2823) Bad night (1033)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.

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  (321): Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right. http://tfl.nu/ehig
  Replies (12) Good night (9961) Bad night (1135)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.

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  (205): She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school. http://tfl.nu/upz2
  Replies (10) Good night (1668) Bad night (2760)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here

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  (614): Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here http://tfl.nu/czu0
  Replies (13) Good night (3246) Bad night (1057)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary

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  (251): 2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary http://tfl.nu/6uuf
  Replies (8) Good night (1012) Bad night (1664)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport

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  (505): Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport http://tfl.nu/iu8r
  Replies (9) Good night (5430) Bad night (1027)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?

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  (303): I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class? http://tfl.nu/wrjt
  Replies (3) Good night (1478) Bad night (1148)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes

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  (902): Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes http://tfl.nu/0c3w
  Replies (4) Good night (1196) Bad night (647)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night

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  (312): Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night http://tfl.nu/k1kb
  Replies (3) Good night (790) Bad night (579)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals

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  (330): i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals http://tfl.nu/vtga
  Replies (1) Good night (805) Bad night (356)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!

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  (312): I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit. (312): It's great being a young gay man in Chicago! http://tfl.nu/tlgx
  Replies (5) Good night (1008) Bad night (481)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.

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  (316): Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running. http://tfl.nu/b6k8
  Replies (6) Good night (967) Bad night (468)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present

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  (815): I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present http://tfl.nu/cw7h
  Replies (3) Good night (362) Bad night (292)

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