just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.