I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
